The Great MixUp
by tayee
Summary: Naruto and the rest of Genin 12 discover that their powers and techniques have been switched among them! Konoha is in abolute chaos! Will they be able to switch back?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Don't own any characters of Naruto. They belong to original writer/artist.

Summary: What would happen if the characters of Naruto somehow switched powers and techniques?

This is a pre-jump fic. (A/N): I decided to combine some chapters to even out the uneven chapter lengths.

It was a seemingly normal morning in the village of Konoha. The sun had just emerged and was peeking from behind the Hokage's faces. Birds flew overhead chirped happily as they scavenged for their morning meal. The streets were still quite empty since the first shops had not yet opened. It was a beautiful morning, nothing out of the ordinary in the peaceful village of Konoha.

Or so it seemed. (DUN-dUn-dunnn!)

As our favorite Konoha ninjas got out of bed that morning, not a single one of them knew that this was going to be one of the most bizarre days ever!

While the streets started to bustle as more and more villagers came out and went about in their usual business, no one seemed to notice the two mysterious figures hiding in the shadows just outside of the village.

"They won't even know what hit them….Muhahahaha…..hahhaa….-AHurrhgh-!" The short ugly one with the mustache laughed, before choking on his spit.

His taller slim female companion rolled her eyes. "Silence, you imbecile!" She peered over at the village from their tree-top hideout and chuckled. _Yes, soon, Konaha will be in complete utter chaos and will soon be RUINED! By the time they realize what has happened, they will be powerless to stop us from taking over!! BWAHAHAHA!_

* * *

Tsunade woke up with her face buried in a desk full of unfinished paperwork and a sake bottle in her hand.

"AAAAHHHHHHHHH!" A terrible screech soon broke out from the Fifth Hokage's office, closely followed by another one: "SHIZUNE!!!!!!" Tsunade stared in horror at the sight of what was in front of her…or rather at what was not in front of her.

Her trusty assistant barged in through the door. "Tsunade-sama! What's wron-.." Shizune's look of concern quickly turned into a gasp of horror. …YYEEeeegh!..Holy Jiraiya Lord of all Apes!"

The Tsunade that stood in front of her was not her typical youthful 20-something-year-old-looking self. Her usual pearly smooth flawless face was replaced by crinkles and lines. Shizune hadn't seen her look this bad since recovery period after she used her Re-generating Jutsu against Kabuto and Oruchimaru to save Naruto.

This, though, was not the most shocking thing. Her youthfulness was gone, yes, but so was another very big thing. Actually, two very big things.

"YOUR BOOBS! TSUNADE-SAMA, WHAT IN KAMI'S NAME HAPPENED TO YOU!" Shizune cried, her face twitching with shock. The front of Tsunade's green robe hung very sadly loose from her, absent of its usual two inhabitants, her two infamously large breasts.

"Shush!! Keep your voice down!" Tsunade pulled her young protégé aside, locking the door and drawing all curtains. "I don't know what's going on! I fell asleep in my office last night like usual and woke up like this. When I try to activate my youth jitsu, nothing happens. It seems that my powers are not working today...or it's more like, I can't remember how to do any of the handseals…"

Shizune picked up the sake bottle. "Was it something in the sake? How many times have I warned you, Oh….Tsunade-sama…YOUR BOOBS!"

"Shh! Will you keep it down?" Tsunade hissed. "Now listen to me, I am going to try to fix whatever this is. You keep watch close by. If anyone asks for me, tell them I am sick. I repeat NO ONE MUST SEE ME LIKE THIS!" She grabbed Shizune by her robe and shook her repeatedly.

"Uh-uh-uh-uh….Hai!" Shizune hurried out with her eyes still spiraling, locking the door behind her. Tsunade hated being in her "actual age" form for long. Shizune sweat-dropped at the thought of finding out how things will get if Tsunade's breasts went missing for long. She hoped hard that Tsunade would recover soon, or else things are sure to get real ugly…

As "granny" Tsunade hid in her room, little did she know that she was not the only one experiencing weird changes…

* * *

In the meantime, the Akimichi's were having their first of many meals of the day: homemade Korean BBQ, their all-time favorite cuisine which they didn't mind having for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and every meal in-between. On a good day, they were able to finish three whole crates of beef ribs.

"Choji, why don't you have the last piece of meat in this batch? We still have fifteen batches left!" said Choza cheerfully to his son, holding the slab between tongs.

"No thanks, I'm full." Choji said, stunning everyone at the table, including himself.

Silence took over the table._ I'm full. I'm full. I'm full. _The words rang heavily over and over in their ears.

Never ever in Konoha's history had a calorie-chakra converting Akimichi ever uttered those words or any variation of that phrase.

"Call the doctor! My baby is not well!" His mother cried out in worry and shock.

Choza was so traumatized that he dropped his tongs, beef galbi and all, on the floor…and for once didn't pick it up to put it back in his mouth. He called the hospital.

Ten minutes later, an ambulance arrived and took Choji away on a stretcher.

* * *

**POOR** Choji! Who stole Tsunade's boobs? Read on, cuz things are only going to get wackier!

Next chapter will feature Naruto and Sasuke!

_This is my first fanfic ever! Reviews are much appreciated! Thanks!_


	2. Chapter 2: Worst day ever

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

Here, we find out that Sasuke cares A LOT more about his looks than we realize. Tension erupts between Naruto and Sasuke.

* * *

Meanwhile at the Uchiha compound, Sasuke had just left for Training Field 5, but not before making sure one last time that he looked okay. He smirked with satisfaction at his reflection in the mirror and headed out. 

Being the smart, quick, genius-boy that he was, he noticed right away that _something_ was not quite right that day.

He walked towards Training Field 5 with his hands stuffed in his pockets, with his eyes focused down at the ground before him. After walking a few more meters, he stopped in his tracks and cautiously directed his eyes in the direction behind him and back to the front.

A gust of wind ominously blew against his still frame, and his emo-bangs swayed with the howling breeze. Lone tumbleweed passed by and somewhere, a crow cawed.

_Yes something is definitely wrong, _he thought. _Very, very Wrong. Wrong with a capital "W"._

This TRULY was remarkable, because for the absolute first time in his _entire_ life, …there _wasn't_ anyone stalking him that morning.

For as long as he could remember, Sasuke has _always_ had to deal with stalkers and psycho-followers; whether it be annoying fan-girls, ages ranging anywhere from three to ninety-four, or his fair-share of creepy male admirers. Morning, evening, even when he slept at night sometimes. It got so bad at times that he often created _bushin_ clones of himself to act as decoys and divert as many stalkers away from the real him.

He found it to be a huge annoyance, the well-known fact that he was EXTREMELY good-looking and brilliant in every single way possible, but _sheesh_, couldn't a guy get some privacy sometimes? He was sure the whole world felt his pain.

However, that morning, Sasuke didn't feel anyone trailing behind him. Not a single soul. Normally, Sasuke would expect himself to be especially thrilled to be left alone. But now that the unimaginable had actually materialized, Sasuke found the silence and lack of presence to be quite eerie and disturbing. He started to feel uneasy and paranoid. Why wasn't anyone following him?!

He started to sniff himself. _Do I smell bad today? Is that it? No wait, it's my hair! Damn, I KNEW I shouldn't have bought that new brand of hairspray at the mall yesterday!! _ Inner Sasuke was freaking out. This was all so very upsetting.

Hence, Sasuke was in an especially foul mood when he arrived at Training Field 5. What was even worse, was that Naruto was already there, busy punching the crap out of a large tree stump. Seeing Naruto get a head-start at morning training, made Sasuke even crankier. _Oh great, first my hair, and now the dobe has started to train first. I can't fall behind him! I'm supposed to be stronger! I'm an avenger! _Inner Sasuke runs off screaming

At that point, Naruto notice Sasuke, his greatest rival standing there, looking exceptionally pissy. _I wonder what his problem is, _he thought, frowning.

"Hey Sasuke! Wait 'til you see my cool new technique that I've been working on. It's almost perfected. I think I could totally beat you with it," The hyper-active ninja boasted loudly.

"Hn." Sasuke gave the dull answer he usually gave to Naruto's outbursts. He ignored Naruto and started his Tai-jitsu training.

Naruto was persistent. "Hey! Did you hear what I said?" he tried even louder. "With this new technique, I'll become stronger than you!"

Sasuke stopped his training, giving Naruto a cool emo stare. "Shut up, retard."

Naruto was hurt. All he was trying to do was harbor some friendly competition as teammates and rivals. "SASUKE! What is your problem?!!"

"Just face it, you'll never be stronger than me. I'll make sure of it." Sasuke snickered, crossing his arms over his chest.

"You want to test that statement right now?! I'll pummel you with my new technique!" Naruto shouted, jumping up and down.

"You're almost as annoying as Sakura. Get out of my way. I can't waste time fighting you, I need to train." Sasuke started to walk off.

Naruto didn't know whether to be more insulted being called weak or having the love of his life, Haruno Sakura get called "annoying". (Note he doesn't care about being annoying himself)

"SASUKE!! You think you're so cool! I don't know why everyone thinks you are so hot, including yourself! Well, you're not! You're BUTT-ugly, everything about you is butt-ugly. Your outfit, the stupid fan on your back, your creepy Sharingan, and most of all, your hair! It looks—like—like a duck's butt! Hahahahaha!" Naruto hooted, falling over with laughter. He began to quack while flapping his arms like a duck.

Sasuke froze for a second and his frame shook with uncontrollable rage. You'd think he was angry that his entire clan and family legacy had been insulted, but he had something even more important on his mind.

_AHHHHH!! How DARE he make fun of MY HAIR! He's gone too far! WORST DAY EVER!! _Inner Sasuke sulked and threw a huge tantrum.

It took every ounce of self-control for Outer Sasuke to recollect himself and walk away. Sasuke reminded himself of his priorities. _Must train and get stronger. Must buy new hair gel. Must fix hair ASAP, _he thought, wiping a stray tear away.

By the time Naruto stopped laughing and quacking, he realized Sasuke was already gone.

"Huh. Where did he go?" He scratched his head and shrugged. "Oh well, back to training!"

"KAGE BUSHIN NO JITSU!" Naruto shouted, ready to do his favorite ninja technique.

Nothing happened. _Huh…that's funny. I can't remember the handseals at all…_

Meanwhile, in a nearby waterfall lake, Sasuke found himself with a much more serious problem. As he stood shirtless up to waist-level in water, Sasuke repeatedly trying to activate his Great Fireball Technique, but it was useless.

_It's as if my handseal knowledge has been erased completely from my mind! _He thought to himself, while looking downwards. "Hey, WHAT THE HELL--!"

On his lower stomach was a HUGE black mark, resembling a spiral with other ugly gibberish signs around it. Sasuke took one look at his no longer blemish-free abs and promptly fainted, screaming, "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

Awww, Sasuke finally reached his limit for the day. 

Woo, that felt like a long chapter!

New Chapter coming soon! Reviews make me happy!


	3. Chapter 3: Morning with the Hyuugas

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

Sorry for not updating in a while!!....where were we?....ah yes...let's see what the Hyuuga's are up to....

* * *

That morning at the Hyuuga courtyard, Neji observed as Hiashi trained with Hinata. He felt kind of bad for her.

Not many people knew this, but one way to tell the skill level of a Byakugan user was to count the number of veins that popped up around the eyes when the bloodline limit was activated.

At his current level, Neji was able to produce eight veins, while Hinata produced only six.

_Oh well, what can you do, that's the difference between our levels._ Neji thought to himself, with just a smidge of smugness.

His ultimate goal was to surpass his uncle, Lord Hiashi who was the most powerful master of the Byakugan and head of the clan, with the ability to pop out a whopping ten veins.

At the moment, Hiashi had a record number of veins on his face, but none of them were from activating his Byakugan. He had been yelling and cursing at his daughter all morning, deeming her "the biggest failure known to the history of Hyuugas". The large throbbing vein in his forehead looked dangerously ready to burst.

_Why did I get stuck with a loser daughter heir who only knows how to make really good rice-balls? _Hiashi licked his lips thinking about the lunch he'll have her cook for the entire household as punishment for not being "good" enough.

Poor little Hinata stood there taking it all in, with her sad eyes downcast. She was doing especially awful today, because her Byakugan refused to even activate.

"Neji! Come here and show her how it's done!" Hiashi called.

"Hai!" Neji jumped at the chance to show off his skills and impress the head of the clan. Hiashi nodded his head in approval. "Make me proud, boy!"

"Byakugan!!" _That's strange._ Neji thought, as nothing happened. The look on Hiashi's face went from sweet to sour.

"Kids these days! Everyone is this family is dysfunctional! I'm taking both of you to the family practitioner later for an examination! For now, let's work on JUUKEN ! Come Hinata! Give me all you got!" He didn't even bother to dodge her attack because she was usually so weak with taijitsu.

Hinata squeezed her face in determination, collecting all her focus into her fist. She was sick of being called the embarrassment of her clan! Today she was going to impress her father, make him proud for once!

"JUuKeN!" She shrieked, full of energy. Her fist came in contact with her father's chest and sank in deep.

"WHAAA--!" Hiashi cried out in surprised at the force of her blow.

It all happened so fast. Hinata's punch sent Hiashi's body flying towards the Main Building of the house, smashing through multiple solid concrete walls.

Four rooms away, eight-year old Hanabi was happily reading manga comics in her bedroom. Before she knew it, her father came crashing through the wall, startling her completely.

"What the hell!!" She shouted, looking down. Lord Hiashi had never looked more horrible, his damaged body completely black and blue, lying in a pile of rubble with his tongue hanging out.

Hanabi readied herself to take revenge on whoever did this to her father. She looked past the Hiashi-shaped holes in the walls towards the courtyard and saw only a wide-eyed confused looking Hinata standing there with her fists clutched. _Whoa…Didn't know she could do that…I gotta start being nicer to O-nee-san…_Hanabi thought. *sweat drop*

Meanwhile, the look on Neji's face suggested that he might have just wet his pants. Or soiled them. Or both.

"Neji-nii san? Is Father going to be okay?" Hinata asked nervously in her tiny, innocent voice. "…I think something is strange is happening to us…"

Neji hadn't gotten past being dazed. "Huh….ya…le's go see Tsunade-sama." Together, they walked off towards the Hokage office building.

They left poor Hiashi for Hanabi to tend to, but the immature eight year old went back to reading her manga.

* * *

Reviews are appreciated ;) and I'll try to update more often.


	4. Chapter 4: Shino's First Time

I am still new to this fanfiction site, so had some issues with editing/adding chapters earlier...sorry!

Disclaimer: Don't own any characters of Naruto. They belong to original writer/artist.

* * *

Not too far away, Hinata's two teammates were meeting up for their daily training.

Kiba stood outside of Shino's house, which was surrounded by fresh vegetation, ideal haven for bugs to thrive. "Hey BUG-FACE! Get your butt out here!"

Shino scowled under his large collar. _I HATE it when he calls me that._

But it was unlike him to bicker, so instead he asked, "So where is Akamaru?"

"Huh?! Did I really accidentally leave him at home?" Kiba felt the top of his head over and over. "I thought he was on my head? …Did I lose him?!" He walked off, searching all around the neighborhood.

Shino frowned suspiciously as he followed behind his teammate. It was very unlike Kiba, to forget Akamaru like that.

Shino didn't really care for Akamaru too much. Once, he befriended some fleas that settled comfortably in the Akamaru's fur, but not too long afterwards, the Inuzukas "cleansed" Akamaru of the fleas. _Those sick bastards._ Shino quickly dried his eyes, saying a quick prayer for each and every one of his ill-fated flea friends.

But putting that aside, Shino understood the bond between Kiba and Akamaru because he held a similar bond with his precious bugs. _But I would never forget about my cute bugs, like that idiot! _Shino shook his head at Kiba, who was down on all fours, sniffing his surroundings.

"Shino! It's so weird! I can't smell anything today!!." Kiba called out, getting up when Shino didn't answer. "Hey YO! Shino?!"

Shino was too busy saying hello to a little mosquito that decided to pay him a little visit. He smiled as the friendly mosquito-chan buzzed around him for a few seconds and landed on the tip of his nose. Shino was thrilled. Mosquitoes were his third most favorite bug, right behind cockroaches and bedbugs.

The mosquito stayed for a few more seconds, before buzzing away. Shino waved goodbye and turned to his still dog-less teammate, who was giving him a weird look.

"Bug face, what is that on your face?"

"Don't think I'm going to fall for that one again." Shino replied, assuming some kind of trick from the usual prankster.

"Uh...seriously....what _is_ that?" Kiba gestured towards Shino's nose.

Shino touched his nose with his hand. Come to think of it, his face did feel a little bit funny...what a strange... pesky... itching ...tingling ...sensation that he has never experienced before.

"Is that a BUG BITE??!!!!" Kiba was incredulous.

Shino frowned and scratch. and scratched. and scratched....first his nose, then his cheek, his neck, his armpit.....he suddenly felt itchy all over. _What the heck is this??? _It was worse than being tied down to a chair and tickled for hours, which Kiba the other boys once did as a prank 3 years ago back when they were in the Academy!

He couldn't contain himself much longer. "AHHHHHH......!" Shino uncharacteristically shrieked, doing a "scratching himself" monkey dance.

"Get a hold of yourself!" Kiba tried to restrain him--quite unsuccessfully before resorting to punching and kicking the out-of-control Aburame, who still wouldn't stop flailing about.

"IT'S JUST A FRICKIN' BUG BITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

* * *

*Cut to Konoha Hospital*

While Lord Hiashi was being admitted into the hospital's intensive care unit, Choji was discharged on the account be being "totally fine in health", much to the protest and worries of his family. As this was no small deal--the future of Akimichi line was in complete jeopardy now that their sole heir was no longer scarfing down korean bbq and potato chips by the short ton--, The Akimichi's decided to take matters to the highest level of authority--the Hokage.

But they reached the gates of the Godaime's quarters, they were told to "get in line buddy". No one was to see Tsunade until further notice, and a small crowd had already gathered outside her doors.........

* * *

What is **Tsunade** up to behind closed doors? What sorts of mix-ups are we in for next?

The following Chapter will be a **Sakura** and **Ino** special....

I need some more inspiration for this story....a lot of material to cover so hope the creative juices keep flowing. Please give me some feedback/critiques and I'll feel more motivated to update soon :)


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